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Thread: 31 male 15+ years of porn day 3 of no PMO

  1. #1
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    31 male 15+ years of porn day 3 of no PMO

    Today is the end of day three of no pmo. I really don't know what to expect going forward. I have read many accounts, but it seems everyone is slightly different. This is my first attempt at no pmo.

    My experience so far has been different than anything I have read so far. I havent had an urge yet. I have had brief periods of flashes of porn in my head, but I have been able to change the channel, as it were. I feel numb. I haven't had an erection during the three days either. I don't have ED as you might think. I know for a fact if I looked at porn I would be off to the races. It is almost like my body is physically tired of being wired for PMO, and it is accepting the rest. I know the urges are going to come and I am scared. Yes scared.

    Why am I doing this? I knew I was into porn heavily, even "slightly" addicted for a while. However, I thought hey everyone does it. Then I saw the tedx video on ybop... and my eyes opened! WIDE.

    One thing I didn't know was how much I objectified women. I always thought I was the good guy, I was nice. But no, i was a closet objectifier of women. Women I see online are my sexual play things... women I see at the grocery store... my porn fix in my head while I smiled at them in line...

    I didn't know this was objectification of a person. I thought I was attracted to said lady and my fantasy was a normal reaction to being attracted to a lady.

    I think on a subconcious level women and people pick up on these vibes. I want to reboot my mind and clean this ugliness out of me.

    My goal is to make it PMO free for 7 days.

    One other thing that I have noticed... when I quit smoking I remember feeling like I was giving up an old friend, I just wanted to go say goodbye again last time.

    I have had a couple brief old friend flashes with porn. A feeling that that I actually miss my favorite scenes, actresses, and acts like some one has died. I know this is a common addiction withdrawal symptom. I am hoping that my experience with quitting smoking will help. Wait! I know it will! Its just that there is no patch for porn withdrawal.

    Thanks for reading and I will start a real thread tomorrow. I have a lot I need to get off my chest.

  2. #2
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    Ok I said I was going to start a new thread, but I didn't. I will keep using this thread for a bit.

    So I am now on day five! I haven't had any major urges to M yet. However, the urge to watch porn on the other hand is definitely starting to break through. I found some information about the flatline phase on ybop. It seems that not much is really known about the phase. I think it has to do with sexual exhaustion. Lets face it, our bodies have natural protections against over sexualization. Porn and time, has a way to make these protections ineffective. I have a feeling I was in the flatline phase before I even started nofop, I just didn't listen to my body, and used to porn boost my libido.

    Since my last post: Day 3 ended well, and day four went great. No major urges throughout the day. Still having flashes of porn come up in my imagination. I can see how many believe that fantasies can slow our progress. I have seen so much porn that basically I am my own porn site upstairs. I think that is true for most of us. I think a key to handling this flashes of imagination, is not necessarily to yell NO! to yourself, but to change the fantasy to something more G rated. Tell your brain, that what it wants isn't real, it never was. And then replace the images with a memory of holding hands with girlfriend, or cuddling. I know some of us have limited experience due to our addiction, I know we can all find a memory of interacting with a lady to replace the porn with. It could be a simple as a smile, I just think it reminds the brain of what is real. I think this helps with sexual repression.

    AT the end of day four I did have some issues trying to fall asleep. I have a great way to assist with going to bed, but it won't work for everyone unfortunately. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea a few months ago, and I have to sleep with a cpap machine. Basically over the the last three months I have conditioned myself to put the mask on lights out, sleep. However, before this, it was PMO, put mask on, lights out, sleep. I don't read in bed anymore, I go from my reading area, straight to putting my mask on, turn off the lamp, before I get in bed, and sleep. It has helped, but I know there will be more nights like last night.

    Start of day five was fine. I was a little late getting up, due to the above. However, everything went smooth at home. Once I got settled in a work, I felt a little anxiety, and restlessness, I think was the start of wanting to watch porn. It lasted a substantial amount of time also. I would say an hour to an hour and a half or so. I really need to figure out what I am going to do for exercise. I am not sure if this will be possible without some sort of cardio or weightlifting to help burn off the extra energy.

    Please feel free to comment. Thanks.

    PS How do I get a tracker? I would really like to use one, when I click a link below one it doesn't work.
    Last edited by berto159; 10-15-2013 at 10:06 PM.

  3. #3
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    I MESSED UP!!!!! I was having a great day six, it was better than day five. I don't really know what happened but next thing I know I was sucked into some porn, and I relapsed. So I read an forum excerpt on your brain on porn, where one guy said that good days can be dangerous because of this situation. So I have come to realize that you have to always be vigilant. BTW I basically relapsed two days in a row. I now know how strong the chaser effect is, and how vigilant you have to be with urges and also fantasies.

    So tomorrow will be my day one again. I am not disappointed or discouraged. This is a learning experience. I just need to refocus. I also need to formalize my goals better, and I think I need to really have a plan for my time. You can't do this on the nonplan, plan. You have to have your day planned ahead of time so you know you have activities to keep you busy. You can't get lost in your thoughts and feel sorry for yourself. Proactive is the key.

    Help, support, and suggestions are always appreciated. Thanks for reading.

  4. #4
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    Unfortunately I am only on day 3 of my first (hopefully only) attempt but I fear reality will soon set in as it did for you. I can offer no words of wisdom, only support. We're all in this together! Every night I have been reading this and other forums to occupy my free time. Check out 'The Marriage Bed' forum if you run out of material here. They have a habitual masturbation/porn addiction section with more men like us that need help. It keeps your mind and computer screen away from porn if nothing else.
    Good luck! Keep digging, you can find the strength in yourself.

  5. #5
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    You can do it berto! Just keep moving forward. I hear of a lot of guys talking about taking cold showers and doing pushups...anything to refocus the mind off porn. I'm on day 18 right now. I looked at porn on days 14 and 15 for a short time and downloaded some videos on day 15. I didn't fap at all though. I immediately deleted the vids and wiped my history. I haven't looked at porn since but it is hard. I always come and read posts here or go the YBOP and read stuff there. It helps me BIG TIME.

    Just hang in there and think about all the good things that will come of this!

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