dear-men

As a living, breathing, non-porn woman, I can’t thank all of you enough for what you’re doing.

This generation’s excessive use of internet porn terrifies me. The constant influx of new bodies, new kinks, new faces and breasts and buttocks flashing on screens in an unending search for perfection and an ever-hotter sex object freaks me out beyond belief. I know what a guy does in his alone time isn’t my business, but in the end what scares me is this: I can’t compete with that.

I’m human. I’m one person. I can’t be edited or cropped or only shown at my best angle. I have stubble and creases and blemishes and veins, I’m not tanned and oiled and lubed up and prancing around in a thong all day. What I’m finding is that the young men I’m with, even the ones who claim I’m the most beautiful creature they’ve ever seen (and they do) aren’t aroused by just me. I could get completely naked, sit on his lap, put my real hands on him and kiss him with real lips, and I’m still second best. I can’t be opened in five tabs as a brunette and a redhead and with huge boobs and small ones and thinner and curvier and the rest. I’m stagnant, stationary, one being. And somehow that’s not sexy.

Women NEED NoFappers. We need to be sexy again. We need a guy who can look at his girlfriend, his fiancee, his wife, and find her attractive. I’m looking for that, and I hope I find it, because in the end, I can’t settle for less. I can’t waste my time trying to fix myself and deal with rejection and disappointment because he couldn’t stay away from a hundred other, new, sexier girls. It’s too heartbreaking.

So thank you, each and every one of you, for doing what you’re doing (or not doing, I should say). You’re getting back to normal, you’re standing up and saying to the world “Sex should be sexy! Men should want their women more than their computers!” You’re giving me hope that I’m good enough, that it’s okay for me to be who I am, and that I can have a normal and fulfilling sex life.

If you’re ever feeling weak, or considering going back to the cycle of bingeing and craving and self-loathing, stay strong for us girls. You’re the Prince Charmings of the 21st century, because if he could have stayed home and pulled up “princessXXX18.com” she’d still be locked in that tower. You’re a new breed of heroes, and I hope I can find someone like you to sweep me off my feet and mean it.

Thank you.

-Anonymous NoFap Fan (source)

9 Comments

  • NV October 30, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    Been nofapping for about 2 months now. Still trying to find a woman who wants to be swept off her feet. nofapping is the easy bit. Finding a woman who you can share your life with. Very very hard!

  • I3ios October 31, 2013 at 12:48 am

    first, you can say that because you are a girl, and it’s way more easy for you to have sexual relations (if you want to). Lots of guys, wich i’m part, live their lives without hope to have a relation with a girl because “we are too much this, or not enough that” so please stop to speack to “all of us”, you are just talking to mens that you can have sex with.

    segundo, it’s not because i look for porn that i dont know that a real sexual relation is made for the pleasure of both of us, with mutual acceptation.

  • Mystery October 31, 2013 at 2:22 am

    Thanks for liking us. However if you are so worried about competition then why not try to make yourself better too? If you feel you are not pretty enough then join a gym, get a boob job, wear makeup or work on whatever you are lacking. If you want men to like you then you should make sure that you are actually attractive to men. Simply complaining about pornography is not going to bring quality men in your life.

    • Echoghost October 31, 2013 at 8:35 am

      @Mystery, your comment is completely distasteful and shallow. The whole point of her article is that women dont feel they can accept themselves the way they are. No matter how many times a women goes to the gym, she most likely will never look like the porn stars specially selected to act in these videos. And why should she get a boob job? Is that what you think women need to do in order o be attractive? Spend thousands of dollars to mutilate and change their bodies in order for you to want to be with them? Not cool.

    • Dylan October 31, 2013 at 8:59 am

      Wtf Mystery? Your comment is chauvinistic and off-color. “Better” is a subjective term. There are many individuals in the world who don’t value the same things you do, especially I might add in relation to boob jobs. I think you completely missed the point of this article.

  • No, do not get a boob job. October 31, 2013 at 7:48 am

    No, do not get a boob job.

    A real man who wants a real women will want the real you. Work on being the best version of yourself by all means, seek out a man who wants a virtuous friendship with you based not in physical escalations but intellectual and emotional escalation.

    Hint: you’ll find a man like this at church… specifically in small groups that discuss topics such as Theology of the Body.

    Good luck, make the most of what God made you to be.

  • Mystery October 31, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    I was preparing to respond, but then I thought of this: http://xkcd.com/386/

  • Stephanie January 26, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    Mystery getting a boob job and lots of makeup sure isn’t going to bring quality men into our lives. It brings men who objectify women. That likely being porn addicts. No offense

  • Mark September 18, 2014 at 8:50 am

    What a fantastic and motivating piece you’ve written – a big thank you to you for writing it!

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